I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
