oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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