I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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