I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
