Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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