You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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