Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
