i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
