I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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