were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
