When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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