you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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