Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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