I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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