I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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