put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
