okay pat passed out under dana's car
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
