We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love having hate sex.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
