she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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