I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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