Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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