i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
