if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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