Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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