I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
