Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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