so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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