i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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