He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
