When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
