so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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