Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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