Porn is love you can see.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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