"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
