I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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