i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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