your room smells of hookers.
And success
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
