He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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