i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
