Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
