is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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