feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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