I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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