Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
