The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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