You did not just play the dead husband card again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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