I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
