Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
farters have to be the big spoon...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
pop tarts are not kleenex
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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