8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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