i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
