I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
