my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize