just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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