dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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