so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize