$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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