what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
