I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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