Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sick fucks of a feather flock together
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
