So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
