He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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