i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
