She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
