Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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