I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
