Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
