She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
